


Connection

by twinsarein



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom!Sam, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-08
Updated: 2010-02-08
Packaged: 2017-10-09 16:06:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/89202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinsarein/pseuds/twinsarein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coda to 5.13 - Sam wakes Dean up the night after they get back from the past.  He has a question and a need.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Connection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mrstotten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrstotten/gifts).



Sam raises his head off his pillow and looks over at the other bed. The form hasn’t moved from the last time he’d looked, nor really from the time he’d first laid down. Or more accurately, since he and Dean had laid him down. Cas had really done his best for them, but the time travelling had weakened him a great deal.

With only two beds in the room, he and Dean had decided to share. They’d done it before. There was a time they’d done it on a regular basis, but things had changed between them and Sam knows he has no one to blame but himself. Still, he really needs his big brother now.

“Dean! You awake?”

His urgent whisper gets no reaction, so Sam reaches over and pokes him, then leans toward Dean’s ear. “Dean! You awake? I need to talk to you.”

As Dean rolls over onto his back, Sam quickly moves back to his side of the bed.

Blinking his eyes blurrily, Dean’s voice is still thick with sleep. “Sammy, wassup? What’s goin’ on?”

Sam props his head up on his crooked elbow. “Oh, good. You’re awake. I need to talk to you, Dean.”

Dean rubs a hand over his face and turns more fully to face Sam. Then he just waits.

Sam plucks at the bedspread, not sure how to start now that he has Dean’s full attention. Finally, knowing that Dean will soon lose patience, he takes a deep breath and just starts. “Mom was…really something. Wasn’t she?”

Sam can almost feel Dean tensing up, even though they’re at least a foot apart. “Yeah, she was.”

Swallowing hard, Sam gathers his courage to continue. “I’ve never had any memories of her. That was okay though, mostly, because I never knew what I was missing. But, now…God, Dean! How do you stand it? For the first time, I can feel the hole in my soul that I think has been there my entire life.  I just never noticed it before. Now, it’s like I can’t leave it alone. I keep poking at it, trying to find the edges or figuring out how to fill it.. We were there in the past for such a short time, but…but, I…” Letting his voice quiver to silence, Sam pressed the pads of his fingers against his eyes. 

A burst of air from the other side of the bed let Sam know that Dean had been holding his breath, that he’d felt something about what had happened in the past, too. “Yeah, I get it, Sammy. C’mere.” Dean puts a hand on the back of his neck and pulls him forward to rest their foreheads together.

Sam can feel his body react to his brother’s closeness, to the warm puffs of breath ghosting along his lips, but he isn’t quite ready for… “Dean, can you tell me about her, share some of your memories?”

So, Dean does. He tells about how he remembers her she’d read to him every night before bed and how she’d sing him to sleep with the song ‘Hey, Jude.’ Dean talked about how she liked to play football with him and Dad and how she’d shriek with laughter when Dad would scoop them both up in his version of a tackle. Dean speaks of how they’d go for long walks in the neighborhood and everyone would want to stop and talk to her and she’d smiled at them all, and he mentions how her hugs would surround him, how good she smelled, and how happy she looked all the time.

As Dean talks, Sam can feel that hole in his soul filling in a little and he gathers all of the shared memories and puts them in a corner of his mind so he can take them out whenever he likes and think of them again. For the first time in his life, he feels he has a connection to his mother. He also feels like maybe the connection between him and his brother isn’t irreparably damaged.

Finally, Dean’s voice trail off and Sam buries his face in his older brother’s neck. “Thank you, Dean. Thank you so much.” He rubs his cheek against Dean’s and feels the wetness there, but for once he doesn’t tease his brother and just ignores it. He knows Dean wouldn’t appreciate it being mentioned, and Sam feels so lucky that Dean had been willing to share so much in spite of the pain it caused him to do so.

Moving his lips across Dean’s face, Sam presses their lips together, almost chastely, before moving into his brother for a full-bodied hug. Dean allows it and Sam’s spirit feels so much lighter that he starts pressing another kiss against Dean’s lips and then another. At first, they’re nothing beyond a desire to thank his brother, to show him how much Sam appreciates Dean letting him see a glimpse of what life was like when Mary was alive.

It’s been too long since they were this close, though, and between one kiss and the next, Sam moans. The warmth of Dean’s body and the feel of his soft lips making his body react almost against his will. Even more that Dean is allowing it, allowing the kisses. He hasn’t pushed Sam away yet, as he had the last few times Sam had tried to get closer. Instead, his hands reach out and grip Sam’s hips, pulling him a little closer.

“Please, Dean. I want you in me tonight, to feel you filling my body the way your memories just filled my soul. Please?”

For a moment all that Sam can hear and feels is the harsh breathing from just a few inches away. Then Dean moves a little closer and Sam feels hope swell inside him. “What about Cas?”

The low growl in Dean’s voice makes Sam shiver, but he turns over and looks behind him. “He’s still out. He hasn’t moved all night. My guess is that he’ll be out for hours more, at least.”

Dean slides his hands down Sam’s body and rests them just under his ass. When he gives a little tug, it arches Sam’s hips forward and he feels their hard cocks rubbing together. “You have anything?”

It takes Sam a moment to unscramble his brain, but he finally remembers his duffle on the floor on his side of the bed. Turning completely over, he leans down and roots around until he feels a familiar tube.

Bringing it back up, he starts to turn back, but a hand on his hip and a hard body pressed against his back forestalls him. “This way, Sammy.”

Swallowing hard, Sam nods his head. “Yeah, Dean. Whatever you want.”

Reaching around his brother, Dean grabs the lube and then pushes Sam’s boxers down his legs. Shifting a little, he manages to get them as far down as his calves.

Hearing the cap being opened, Sam whispers over his shoulder. “Dean, I don’t want…don’t prep me. I want to feel you, I want the burn.”

Except for a sudden stillness, there’s no response from Dean. Then Sam feels the mattress move minutely as Dean pushes his own boxers down and when he hears slick sounds behind him he knows Dean in preparing himself. Sam’s whole body clenches at the thought and his cock throbs. Then, there’s a leg sliding between his and hands holding him open. The blunt head of Dean’s slicked cock is suddenly being pressed against him and Dean slowly pushes his hips forward.

Sam does his best to relax and not tense up as the broad head is pushed in inexorably. Dean only pauses briefly when he first makes it past Sam’s tight ring of muscle. After that, he pushes forward steadily until his groin is flush against Sam’s ass. Then he stills.

After a few moments the burn fades. At first, all Sam can think about is how full he feels, how complete – Dean with him, surrounding him, in him. Then, Sam gets restless and starts twitching, wanting Dean to move, to feel every inch of him as he slides in and out of Sam’s body. He tries to push his hips back, but Dean’s hand is firm on Sam’s hips, keeping him still. Whimpering, Sam pleads with Dean to move. 

When Dean finally does, he does it completely. Grasping Sam’s thigh that’s draped over his, Dean gently pulls it back and up, opening Sam even more. As Dean starts a slow rhythm he reaches around Sam and grasps his cock in a firm grip. His lips start touching down on Sam’s back, a different place each time. 

They’re soft touches, barely there kisses, as if Dean doesn’t want Sam to know he’s doing it, but unable to stop himself. Sam feels every single one and every kiss impossibly seems to be filling in that hole in his soul a little bit more. The kisses telling him that Dean still cares about him, still wants him in his life.

Then Dean begins a counter-rhythm between his fist and his cock that has Sam’s mind going blank and he buries his face into a pillow to muffle his moans. When sharp teeth sink into the sensitive nape of his neck, Sam tenses and then shudders his release into Dean’s hand.

As Dean continues to thrust in and out, Sam arches back and pulls Dean into a sloppy kiss. The angle is all wrong, but it doesn’t matter. He wants that extra connection with his brother, and when the thrusts of his tongue match Dean’s inside of him, Dean comes, sending his cry into Sam’s mouth.

When Dean pulls out, Sam feels the loss acutely. Moments later, though, Dean is sliding back in bed with a warm washcloth to clean Sam up and help to pull his boxers back up his long legs. Then, without a word, he presses up against Sam’s back and slings an arm around his younger brother’s waist. Sam bites his lip and holds absolutely still, not wanting to give Dean any excuse to pull away.

After a few minutes, Dean’s breathing evens out, and Sam swallows and then blinks a sheen of tears from his eyes. His brother might not be inside him anymore, but he still feels that connection he’d been missing. It was there in the memories Dean had shared and in the way Dean had given him exactly what Sam asked for, and then, here and now, given Sam exactly what he needed even though the wish had remained unspoken.

Pushing back against his brother as much as he dares, Sam puts his hand over his brother’s where it lies on his stomach. Closing his eyes, feeling at peace for the first time in a long time, Sam follows his brother into slumber.


End file.
